Have Vaccine, Will Travel

Have Vaccine, Will Travel

A friend of mine recently sent me a link to an article titled “Scientists Develop New Vaccine To Prevent Autism” published in the National Report.1 I looked at the title and thought, “Hmm, sounds fishy, but what the heck… I’ll bite.” So I refrained from responding with a snide remark, saved the link so I could read the article later in the day and simply thanked my friend. When I finally got around to reading the piece and then looking at some of the other articles on the site, it became obvious it was all a gag, satire.

I should have known better than to think, even for a moment, that an article about a vaccine to prevent autism could be anything other than a joke. The fact that I didn’t says a lot.  I have become so accustomed to reading articles about new vaccines targeting such an odd mix of disorders and conditions, as well as diseases, that I wouldn’t be surprised if it were announced they are developing a vaccine for helping people lose weight. Oh wait, they actually are working on a vaccine for obesity—the so-called “flab jab.”2 3

Can you imagine the sales and profits from an obesity vaccine? According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), more than one-third of adults in the United States are obese.4 More than two-thirds of adults in the U.S. are obese or overweight.5 

Make no doubt about it, an obesity vaccine is a big money vaccine.

There is a misconception that vaccines are used only to try and prevent infections caused by viruses and bacteria. Apparently, nothing could be further from the truth. You can probably come up with a vaccine that stimulates the production of antibodies for just about anything. Whether the antibodies, by themselves, are effective at doing what the vaccine manufacturer wants them to do, that’s another matter.

Last year, The Vaccine Reaction reported that pharmaceutical companies were developing 271 new vaccines, as of September 2013.6

The potential vaccines include 134 for infectious diseases, 99 for cancer, 15 for allergies and 10 for neurological disorders.6

The quantity of vaccines in the pipelines is staggering. But what truly boggles the mind is the kind of vaccines being developed. I already mentioned the one for obesity. Here are some of my other favorites. (See if you can keep a straight face.) Did you hear the one about the vaccine for sea lice developed by Tecnovax Chile?

The first ever vaccination against sea lice was launched in Chile last week, as other salmon producing countries could have it within two years…7

The injectable vaccine has an ‘innovative formula’ which stimulates the abundance and quality of mucus in the skin of the vaccinated fish, protecting it against the sea lice or caligus.7

Or how about the vaccine to stop smoking developed by researcher Xinyuan Chen at the University of Rhode Island?

My laboratory at URI is developing a laser-based delivery system for a powdered vaccine to improve nicotine vaccine effectiveness.8 

This system is expected to safely and profoundly boost nicotine antibody production and completely block nicotine entry into the brain.8 

There’s the vaccine for preventing high cholesterol under development by the University of New Mexico and the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH).

The vaccine targets a protein called PCSK9 that’s involved the management of cholesterol levels in the blood. By interfering with PCSK9, the researchers are able to lower cholesterol in the blood…9 

The list goes on and on. There’s the vaccine for acne.10 The one for rheumatoid arthritis.11 The one for heroin addiction.12 It’s like vaccines are the miracle cure for anything and everything that ails humankind. There has got to be a vaccine for male baldness, right? Now, that would be the holy grail of vaccines. Let’s do a Google search and see what we find.

(type type type…) “Hair loss after routine immunizations.”13 Uh, no.

(type type type…) “Severe Hair Loss Induced by Anthrax Vaccine and Reversed by the Treatment With Zinc.”14 Ugh.

(type type type…) “Barely There–Life After Gardasil Related Hair Loss.”15 Getting depressed now.

(type type type…) “Dog Bald Spot After Rabies Vaccine.”16 Okay okay, I guess there isn’t a vaccine being developed to prevent baldness, just a lot of vaccines causing baldness.

Maybe the vaccine manufacturers making people bald will work on a vaccine for baldness next.


1 Scientists Develop New Vaccine To Prevent Autism. National Report 2015.
2 Can an obesity vaccine help battle world’s fat problem? ‘Flab jab’ has shown promising early results in mouse studies. Daily News July 10, 2012.
3 Overweight? There’s a vaccine for that. EurekAlert! (press release) July 8, 2012.
4 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Overweight & Obesity. CDC.gov.
5 Obesity Rates & Trends Overview. The State of Obesity September 2015.
La Vigne P. Pharmaceutical Companies Developing 270 New Vaccines. The Vaccine Reaction June 21, 2015.
Villegas A. First ever sea lice vaccine launched in Chile. Under Current News Nov. 24, 2015.
Pharmacy researcher developing nicotine vaccine, novel drug. Medical Express Nov. 17, 2015.
Sifferlin A. A New Vaccine Could Prevent High Cholesterol, Study Suggests. TIME Nov. 11, 2015.
Carey T. Vaccine that could end the misery of acne for millions of teenagers. Daily Mail Nov. 11, 2011.
Templeman K. Rheumatoid arthritis ‘vaccine’ passes big test. Futurity June 8, 2015.
Fikes BJ. Heroin vaccine project gets $1.6M. The San Diego Union-Tribune Nov. 19, 2015.
Wise RP, Kiminyo KP, Salive ME. Hair loss after routine immunizations. JAMA Oct. 8, 1997;278(14):1176-8.
Al-Bayati MA. Severe hair loss induced by anthrax vaccine and reversed by the treatment with zinc. Vaccine Information Coalition 2004.
Vaccine Injry Lawer. Barely there–life after Gardasil related hair loss. Vaccine Injury Help Center.
Yvonne (Oregon). Dog Bald Spot After Rabies Vaccine. Organic Pet Digest.

Note: This commentary provides referenced information and perspective on a topic related to vaccine science, policy, law or ethics being discussed in public forums and by U.S. lawmakers.  The websites of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) provide information and perspective of federal agencies responsible for vaccine research, development, regulation and policymaking.


8 Responses to "Have Vaccine, Will Travel"

  1. Claudia   May 3, 2016 at 9:40 am

    What about a vaccine for stupidity?

  2. Gram   May 3, 2016 at 10:40 am

    What about a vaccine for vaccine addiction?

  3. Larry Fox   May 3, 2016 at 12:28 pm

    What about a vaccine that would make all elected persons honest for their term in office?

  4. DukeSilver   May 3, 2016 at 2:06 pm

    How about a test to ensure the recipient is compatible with a vaccine….. or a test to ensure the vaccine will be effective on a particular individual?

    • Redpill1   May 6, 2016 at 7:13 am

      That test has been available for years but pharma and the CDC will not use it. Have you read what’s in a vaccine? Read this about the MMR:

      MMR Vaccine Contaminated

      What human being would be compatible with this? this is why the test isn’t used. It would eliminated probably 98% of the country from the vaccine paradigm.

  5. Christine DiVinere   May 5, 2016 at 7:32 pm

    How About a vaccine for “wake-up and get a clue”?. Oh, that wouldn’t bode well with their agenda; we’re better off ignorant so we can keep feeding the healthcare bogeyman.

  6. Colorado   May 9, 2016 at 4:38 pm

    Requesting medical ethics committees and citizen grand juries to yank licenses of those whom advocate for forced vaccination. That’s the proverbial shot in the arm which these other posters are actually calling for. A return to sensible ethics, mandated through the same legal system which is being used against us. I said NO! And no means no! NO does not mean anything else. Nobody forces me to violate my conscious or my ethic, because unlike these bureaucrats whom dare to consider forced vaccination as plausible, I have ethics while they obviously have none. Your liberties regarding protection stop with yourself, and do not extend to me. The idea of herd immunity as the pro vaxxers argue it is predicated on the idea of individual immunity and vaccine reliability. Yet the stats on illness contradict such a position, and even if that was true that vaccines protect, the individual whom does not vaccinate has nill effect on those whom have. More people with vaccinations get sick than those whom do not receive them. If they want vaccines, let them have them, including my share. I will absolutely never get another shot in my life after reading up thoroughly on this long chain of continued abuse of powers. Did you hear the one about future game plans to force adult vaccinations if you want to retain your drivers license? Donate to the NVIC today, while you still have a voice left.

  7. Dr. John Fudens   June 16, 2016 at 2:10 pm

    I like the suggestion by Larry Fox. Wouldn’t that be the land of milk and honey. Have all politicians honest and ethical. Afraid not on this planet. Oh well we can always call Scottie to beam us up.


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